I want to be in all senses of the words, All. Things. Mama.
As far back as I can remember I've wanted to be a mom, not just any mom, but the mom that stays home with her kids full time. The mom who loves even when she is not loved back, who can't breathe without thinking of her kids first. The mom who loves teaching, playing, cooking, baking, laughing, and kissing owies. The mom who is ALL THINGS MAMA. My husband and I scrimp so that dream can be fulfilled. Being a mom is not part time for me. It is something that has captured my heart. All of the going ons of my life start with thoughts of my kids. My kids consume my love and my life and I allow it because, with God's help they are the essence of what makes me a mother. This is me...

kids: the reason for moms

kids: the reason for moms

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Runaway dogs...

About a month ago, I realized how crazy this little family circus of mine truly is, will be, and probably will stay before it calms down.  It all started with one of Guapo's famous runaway scenes.  The kind where I open the door, he slips through it, and immediately runs down the street to have a romp through the neighborhood.
This was one of the times where I didn't bother to chase him because it was raining, a friend had just pulled up for a visit, and I knew he would be back later, scratching at the door, when he was done exploring.
Keep reading, this story gets better---
My friend and her two kids (3 year old boy and 4 month old girl) come in to hang out and eat lunch with us and we catch up and talk about life.  She tells me she would really like to be a stay at home mom. This is when the true craziness begins.
My kids are screaming at each other every time one or the other tries to look at the baby because they both want to be the only one playing with her.  Melanie pees on the floor in the front hallway, and while I'm cleaning that mess up and changing her, Easton is moving the bench from his table to the back door so that he can unlock it.  After getting him off the bench and telling him no, I turn around to put the bench back to the table and he is behind me getting into the garbage.  I turn around to get him out of the garbage and pick up the mess and he is back on the bench again unlocking the door (imagine this happening about 2 more times!).  To add to this the doorbell rings.  I answer it and it is a neighbor asking if we own a little white dog.  Why yes we do I say.  He then tells me that he is running around down the street.  My friend says she'll watch the kids so I can get the dog.  It's raining, hard, and I'm 5 months pregnant, running down the street, looking for my dog, who I can catch no sight of. (I can only dream what the neighbors were thinking watching me) I immediately gave up on that and came back to the house to find Melanie standing on a kitchen table chair playing with the baby who is in a bouncy seat on the table. This is fine, because she is keeping occupied and is having fun and not yelling at Easton! Finally, my friend and I sit down to eat, when Easton decides he wants to see the baby too, so he climbs up and gets on top of the table, knocks down my glass of water and sits in the water.  So, I take him off the table, take off his wet pants and put them in the laundry room and when I come out he as taken off half his diaper and is walking around with it falling off.  At this point, I just looked at my friend and started laughing and said "um, are you SURE you want to be a stay at home mom??"  She started laughing hysterically and we went through everything that had gone wrong so far and laughed even harder.  While we were still laughing there was a scratching at the door and guess who finally came home? Guapo! And he was sopping wet. I opened the door and he came RUNNING through the house as fast as he could with all the kids chasing him around.  I mean, why wouldn't that happen? More chaos was bound to ensue.
As much as I would like to just be able to sit down to a nice lunch with and friend and do nothing but talk and catch up, I realize that will not be happening for a while now.  And now we're adding another to this family circus! It keeps life interesting and good and keeps my perspective in check.  It also keeps my patience level up and keeps me laughing.  Cheers to chaos!
OH and by the way, about 2 weeks later, my kids locked me out of the house...!

Monday, May 9, 2011

simplicity...

God made man simple. His complex problems are of his own devising. Ecclesiastes 7:29

Simplicity sounds so good to me.  Our ladies Bible study has been studying The Celebration of Discipline and the discipline of simplicity has been especially intriguing.  Maybe it's because I've realized how utterly problematic things become when we don't keep it simple.  We become like spoiled children when we begin spoiling ourselves with things.  The more I have the more selfish I become, and the more I think about the selfish ways I've acted throughout my life, it makes me want to simplify.
My grandmother was so good at being simple.  As I look back at how loving, kind, generous, soft spoken and happy she was, it becomes so clear that she had the discipline of simplicity shining through her heart and soul.  She gave away everything, she barely had anything, and she was SO happy.  She spoke of Jesus all the time without shame.  She loved everyone.  She had a great sense of humor.  She was a role model of how Jesus wants a person to act.  I miss her so much.
I want what my grandma had.
Simplicity.