I want to be in all senses of the words, All. Things. Mama.
As far back as I can remember I've wanted to be a mom, not just any mom, but the mom that stays home with her kids full time. The mom who loves even when she is not loved back, who can't breathe without thinking of her kids first. The mom who loves teaching, playing, cooking, baking, laughing, and kissing owies. The mom who is ALL THINGS MAMA. My husband and I scrimp so that dream can be fulfilled. Being a mom is not part time for me. It is something that has captured my heart. All of the going ons of my life start with thoughts of my kids. My kids consume my love and my life and I allow it because, with God's help they are the essence of what makes me a mother. This is me...

kids: the reason for moms

kids: the reason for moms

Friday, September 28, 2012

Oh goody, I'm thirty...

When you tell someone you are turning thirty the first thing that usually comes out of their mouth is, "how do you feel about it?" Huh? Am I supposed to feel something? Am I supposed to be happy, mad, sad, jealous of my lost twenties? To be honest, I don't feel any different than I did yesterday when I was still 29. I don't feel a thing!

My friend Skyelynn told me her view on turning thirty:
There is something special about turning thirty that many seem to overlook. This is the first time in your life you have had a complete decade of being an adult. You can look back on ten full years of pure adulthood. It is surprising how much is accomplished, how many mistakes are made, and how much one is grown in the span of just 10 years.

Reflecting on the things I've done in the last ten years has been amazing and kind of embarrassing. (Who hasn't done embarrassing things in their twenties?) I've accomplished a lot, but I also made a few mistakes with whom I would not like to reminisce. Therefore, I choose to focus on the good of my twenties.

At 20 I was only in my second year of college and just starting a new job at a bank with which I would stay until 28 years old. That's a long time! At 22 I began my short 4 year teaching career and at 25 I became a wife.  I birthed a child at 26 years old and got my masters degree. Years 27 and 28 followed suit with year 26 by bringing me 2 more babies. Yes, I had a baby at 26, 27 and 28 years old! Best decisions ever made. And it was in my twenties that I made my most treasured and best friends. Big stuff happened in my twenties! Big stuff that I am big proud of!

Now I'm thirty. Young enough to start a new career or a new chapter in life if I wished, yet mature enough to choose those things wisely. Thirty still sounds somewhat young, but it also means I am headed to forty!

People jokingly say that thirty is the new twenty. I may feel as young as twenty, but if given the chance to go back a decade...no, I would say no! My life at thirty is way to good to leave.

The one thing I am going to truly miss tremendously about my twenties is a phone call. This will be the first year I will not be hearing happy birthday from my grandma. If I could go back to the last birthday phone call, one year ago, I would have kept her on the phone longer, said I love you a few more times and visited her way more often that year. Sometimes reflection, as good as it is for the soul, can bring heartache of loved ones gone from us.

Well now, I guess I do have some feelings about the completion of my twenties. Feelings of attainment, capability, and joy. God brought me here and I better take this next decade exactly where He tells me to take it!

Ok, now that I've taken time to return to the last ten years and remember some major points in my life, thirty is looking me in the face saying, "so ya, I'm kind of a big deal". Yes, you are, and it is no wonder you are called "The big 3-0." Bring on the next decade! Here I come forty!

If I went back a decade, this is what would be missing from my life. My family's feet...hahah Well, not just their feet, but you get what I mean. I just love this picture.

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